On recent voting day in the twnshp, stopped in at the Burdock Pizzia and Fine Dining to cast my votes.
To be modern and up to date, the Twnship had had Beritie, the call center operator, rig up the Asteroids machine into a comptr
voting terminal. Which was fine except that every 45 seconds the little saucer would come out and blow up your voting and you then
had to start over.
Fortunately, the ballot was short, and I did manage to make my votes count . After three or four tries I managed to beat the mini-saucer.
The first thing to vote on was Judge Kippatrick for Township Magistrate. Judge ‘Patrick has always done a fine job and is quite competent.
When Judge Patrick isn’t out on the Clover County circuit, he keeps everything right here in Weener Township running just fine. And keeps two of
our more colorful Citizens in line.
Next up was Greg McIntyre for Twnshp Constable, and Meter-Reader. In his cowboy boots and wide-belt, Greg tends to look like
he is waiting for the remake of Urban Cowboy. The fellow is headed someplace, someday. That is if he doesn’t outsmart himself first.
And the next Citizen standing for election was Greg’s side-kick, Ernie Stubbs. Ernie was running for the Twnshp job of Dept of Miscellania.
Whatever that is. It seems that it has mostly to do with sweeping streets, picking up trash, and shoveling snow. He has had quite a
bit of practice for those jobs. Ernie has enough relatives, in-laws and by-laws and once or twice removed’s in the twnship that he will probably
get re-elected. And it is a way to keep him busy and from coming up with any more, ‘work from your hammock’ schemes.
And there was a tax issue, for the local school. Handy Hank had offered to supply a new rope for the school-bell if that was what they were after.
But then the district Grand-Poohba and Head-Honcho remarked that the tax-issue would also renew the subscriptions to the outdoor
magazines in the Weener Township adult-literacey program. The issue will suredly pass, by a overwhelming margin.
And as I had a few seconds left before the mini-saucer reappeared, I even managed to get typed in a write in candidate.
One of the guys had been rereading the Weener Township regulations and minutes, and had found an obscure provision providing for
a Township Domestic and Wild Animal Officer. The Provision must have been passed during the Teddy Roosevelt Administration. Most of the animals
around here are either on their homeplace or making themselves scarce if the season is in. We really have never really needed a Domestic and Wild Animal Officer.
But there the provision was right there, on the Burdock Fine Eats and Saloon checkered-napkin. So the guys thought it over and immediately
the idea of conducting a write-in campaign for our good-friend, HM Weener, for the position. Someone observed that we could always claim that we misread
the provision and that we thought we were voting for HM Weener for Township Wild Animal.
I am sure HM will appreciate the humor.
HM Weener is a descendant of one of the original settlers of the township. And still lives in the double-cabin that his ancestors built.
Don’t worry, it has a ‘modern’ section. It was added-on shortly after the Big War. And includes a large content of army surplus parts.
HM keeps saying that he plans to add his addition to the family-haven. Maybe dig a basement.