I was having my slice of pepperoni and a couple cans of murky green pop at the Burdock Pizzia and Fine Dining.
And Paula was busy explaining the going ons from a couple hours earlier.
"And," she said as she opened another can of green pop for me, "HM drew the eight ball, so he gets the job of tieing
the rope from Handy Hank’s onto the School Bell."
"How did the Weener-Man take it?’ I bothered to ask.
"Rather calmly," Paula answered, "Except his one objection was that climbing the ladder to get up to the bell was going to take a lot of unnecessary
"Weener-Man always wanted to get into Higher Education," I observed.
Paula ignored my observation and continued, "And so Handy Hank talked one of the guys from down at the Hardware to loan HM a bucket-hoist
to get up there, all your friends thought it was a great idea. They even took it over to his place so that HM could practice prior to the big tie-in."
I nod as I take a bite of crust, "Practice makes perfect."
Paula takes the paper-plate and tosses it in the waste-basket, and wipes the counter in front of me, "Well, it might just be my opinion, but
maybe somebody ought to swing out by his place and keep an eye on him."
I get the hint, and walk out to my truck. Find a paper-towel with a message on it: For Parking over Pavement Markings; $5.
Checking under the truck, I see where parking lines have been sprayed onto the tar-and chip-pavement.
I do not remember Burdock having marked parking places the day before. Or even when I’d gone in for lunch.
A matter for Judge Kippatrick to clear up, I was on my way out to the HM Weener Estate.
On my way out to Weener’s place, my truck was making some odd noises, so I figured I had the perfect excuse for stopping in and having
Weener have a look at this.
It is said many places have the resident horse-whisperer, or dog-whisperer.
In this township, we don’t have a whisperer of sorts, but more like a motor-grumbler.
HM had a habit when working on a motor or mechancial device of grumbling under his breath at a semi-inaudible level.
No one’s sure if he is informing the motor of what would happen if it didn’t start cooperating, or reveiwing the steps needed to complete the repair.
But he’s keeping a lot of trucks around here running well past their exteneded warrenties, so no one is asking.
I pull into the barnyard in front of the Weener homestead, the double-log cabin with the modern wing added shortly after World War 2.
And there is Weener in the bucket-hoist going over the control levers.
The hoist is parked over in front of the former dairy barn. At one time they used to keep the Township supplied with cheese and butter from here.
People have tried to talk Weener into going back into producing cheese and butter. But Weener-Man has pointed out, the morning and night milking times, year round are inconvenient to schedule.
I did bring up that they are working on new-style milking parlors that the cows can come in at any time and are milked by the machine.
Weener-Man’s conclusion, "When they invent a machine that the cow can drive up to my door and leave a couple bottles of milk, I’ll be interested."
I pull up by the hoist and climb out of the truck.
Weener-Man motions for me to watch as he now tries the controls.
HM pulls a lever and then we see Weener-Man in a bucket-hoist go up to medium-high.
He pulls another lever and Weener-Man and the bucket-hoist rotate slowly to theright.
He pulls that lever back and Weener-Man and Bucket-hoist rotate slowly back to the left.
HM pushes another lever and Weener-Man and bucket-hoist go up real high.
And so it goes, I get to see Weener-man and bucket-hoist go medium-high, then rotate slowly right, then rotate slowly left, and then go up
real high, and then back down to normal. Repeatedly as he diligenly practices all afternoon.
Even though Weener-Man’s is rapidly becoming proficent, I’m sort of stuck there by a prior commintment.
And so I get to watch Weener-man and bucket hoist go medium high, slowly rotate right, slowly rotate to the left, and then go real high up
there, and then back to normal height. Over and over.
Finally satisfied of his own mastery of the technology Weener-man lowers the bucket down and says to me, "How ingenious, this is obviously
a new-type carnival-amusement ride, but it took a smart-feller to think of using it to lift someone up to tie a rope onto the school bell.
Looking about the estate, I remark, "And you know, someone might also use it paint the barn, or get the roof shingled, maybe even prune some maple trees."
HM takes alook at one of the maples growing on his place and considers, "It may be possible ." he decides, "And if the owner wants to put this amusement ride
to such a use, I shall applaud his ingenuity, until then," Weener-Man pushes a lever, "Like they say, Practice makes perfect."
Weener pushes the lever and it is Weener-man and bucket hoist up to medium-high….