The Berms of Clover County

   Just while we are standing there totalling up out potential take, Paula walks by quickly, "Cool it Fellas," she says under her breath.
   And then from behind us we here a very gruff, "Ahmmmm." We all turn to see Judge Kippatick standing there, his face shades of red, and his white moustache seeming to stand out horizontally from either side of his face.
   "Gentlemen," the Judge says, "You have pulled some lame-brained, knuckle-headed, left-turn tomfoolery in your day, but this time you pegged the fiasco-meter off of the scale, "And,"
   "And," a thin nasally voice comes from behind the Judge. Allof us turn, even the Judge, to see the County SuperVizor walk up in that funny little gait of his.
   "And," the County Super says as he wipes off his glasses, "Judge Kippatrick I’ve been looking all over for you. I’d like to thank you for making this County SuperVizor’s Inspection the event it deserves to be," the Super replaces his glasses, "Horses, bells ringing, a band, firetrucks, you even had a pet parade," the County Super smiles enthusiastically, "Now that’s some good old Clover County spirit there," the County Super nods to the Judge, ‘now as to that bridge you have been wanting down at the Historic Ford, the money just isn’t in the County budget this year, but the Quarry can get us some additional flat-rock," the Super is shaking his head, "I’ll have a crew out tomorrow to set them in place," the County SuperVizor smiles generously, "And how the roads in this Township all need more berm, a county truck will also be out this afternooon and deliver all the gravel you’ll need along road-sides,"  the County Super adjusts his white broad-brimmed hat, "Of course, the township will have to provide the crew to spread and tamp the gravel into the berms, the county road-crew will be busy setting ther flat-rock," the County Super turns to leave, "I’m sure you can see to that," he says to Judge Patrick, "And that was quite an assembly today Judge, I don’t know how’ll you will top that next year, maybe even fireworks."
   The County Super walks off to the County car to go back to the Clover County Administration Building.
   It seems quiet a moment, and then Ernie says hopefully, "He said Fireworks?"
   "He said the Township will have to provide a crew," Judge ‘Patrick says forcefully, "Erniee!"
   "I know,"  Ernie says dejectedly, "Go get a shovel."
   "Well, don’t go looking at me," Greg McIntyre explains, "You’ll be needing someone to direct the traffic, I’ll go get the El
Camino," and Greg McIntyre saunter off to get the Official Township vehicle.
   Judge ‘Patrick takes one look over to where HM and I are standing, "No Ernie," the Judge says, "Make that a tamper and two shovels."
   "Judge?" I ask, "We didn’t have anything to do with the berm."
   The Township Magistrate carefully balances all factors and speaks confidently, "Your people did find the Historic Ford through the Too Much."
   "But that was over a hundred years ago," I point out.
   "They started it, grab a shovel," the Judge says in no uncertain terms.
   Howler has turned and started one long step away from the confering, "And you," the Judge stops the Weener-man in his tracks, "And you grab a shovel while your at it."
   "Me?" Howler preotests, "But my people didn’t discover that leaky ford."
   "But it was your famous ancestor, Colonel Weenerman that put the first flat-rocks accross it and made all this mess possible, so in a way you’re just as in it as the others."
   By now Ernie is back with the shovels, and the Weener-Man and I have accepted our instrumnets of township pride and start off toward the side-street that Greg has already blocked off on one end and has the Road-Closed sign up.
   "Very well, Gentlemen," Judge Patrick says approvingly, "Once the berm is installed and tamped, we’ll be able to call this caper, closed," the Judge tucks his paper uner his arm and starts back to the Township Hall, "Good Day Gentlemen."
   and so that is how the Clover County SuperVizor got his Parade, Judge Patrick got some overdue roadwork done on the Township road system, Greg McIntyre got a week of practice directing traffic, Ernie Stubbs got to spend a week tamping, and HM and I got to shovel Gravel; On the berms of Clover County.

About offroad2084

Work on the Work In Progress, MyDay in HicksTown. A light-hearted look at life in the fictional town of HicksTown in WeenerMan Township.
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