The Eusselesse Canal

Counts Crown

Image via Wikipedia

“Seems they were listening to the archaeologists discussing a possible find of traces of a canal that a pharoah tried to dig between the Nile River and the Red Sea,” Em continues, “And then after the archaeolgists had left, a Baron Von Hamburg got up in front of the Lodge and exclaimed that Barvarian Engineering could do better. He even offered to finance an Expedition to attempt such a feat.”

“Everyone raised a Roote Beere toast to Baron Von HamBurg’s proposal,” Em goes on, “But they all wondered who would take him up on such a bold challenge.”

“Finally,” Em smiles, “Count HamBurg points to Mannfrd Von Weenerman and tells him that he is the very most auf-fraudhiem inventive member of the Lodge.”

I agree with Em, “Yes, he is credditted with inventing the hole in the toilet-seat.”

“Mannfred took the Count up on his offer, but when oneof his roote-beere brothers told him over a cold stein that it was hot and sandy in Eygypt this time of year, Mannfredd replied that they had to entertain the Count due to him being one of the Lodge’s biggest guests, they needed to find a couple ringers to send to Eygypt to keep the Count happy. The Lodge-brother says would they find two doom-kopfs to be the ringers, and mannfred is said to have smiled and said he new just the volkks.”

I scratch my head and ask myself, “I wonder who he could have been referring to?”

Em Rolls her eyes, “The Lodge notes make mention of individuals, one of whom discovered a key water-way crossing, and another who constructed the Ford accross that water-way.”

I look around, “As in the Too Much Creek, and the Construction of the Water-Bridge?”

Em smiles, “The Lodge notes remark that two such doom-kopfs were thus located.”

“There is reference in the Family History about some project named, ‘The UseLess Canal,” I recall, “always thought that referred to theyr attempt to run a waterway back to the County Seat along where the Rail Spur is now.”

“With Colonel Weenerman,” Em shrugs again, “And your great great Ancestor, the Scout, probably was both. Might be where MannFredd VonWeenerMan got the idea in the first place.”

“So Colonel Weenerman got the telegram with all the details. MannFredd told him it was good for his rhuematism.”

“I never heard that the Colonel had Rhuematism,” I point out.

“He didn’t, but he didn’t know what the word meant, so he agreed to go on the Expedition because the warm climate would be good for him.”

I frown, “But that’s not just a warm climate, that’s a hot climate.”

Em smiles, “The Colonel didn’t know that either.”

Em continues, “So  the tickets came through the mail and Colonel WeenerMan and the Scout got a ride on a cargo ship to Spain that was carrying fertilizer. They had to help pay their passage by helping to pitch the fertilizer off the boat when they made port.’

“I’ll bet they were good at that,” I comment.

“As a matter of fact,” Em recalls, “Records say they seemed to have a natural proclivity for  it.”

Ferom there, their itinerary put them on a cargo boat to deliver cork to Alexandria, Eygypt,” Em explains, “And then to pick up a load of cotton.”

“You mean they went onto India after that,” I decipher.

“That comes later,” Em smiles, “For now, they were to obtain a load of irrigated Eygyptian cotton.”

There’s more?” I ask.

‘Lots more, but for right now,” Em goes on.


About offroad2084

Work on the Work In Progress, MyDay in HicksTown. A light-hearted look at life in the fictional town of HicksTown in WeenerMan Township.
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