Scrabble It

A full English-language Scrabble tile set. See...

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“Your Iron Bumb Marathon doesn’t strike me as being very much a cerebral challenge.,” HoneyDew remarks.

‘But it is,” I protest, “Wait until you try a game of Scrabble Eight-Ball.”

“Scrabble Eight-Ball?” Charley Kno asks, “Sounds like I might like it.”

HoneyDew rolls her eyes, “I bet you yould.”

“So how’s it go?” Charley asks with interest.

“Well you start out with a standard Scrabble set up,’ I explain, “and then you take from another tile set the letters for a five or six-letter word the letters needed to spell it.”

“I figured over in WeenerMan Township the specialty would be two or three-letter words,” Honey smirks.

“Or maybe four, like when I’ve heard Chet bang his knuckles down at his Garage,” Charley adds.

“I wonder if Judge Patrick utters any under his breath after these Barney Bumbs get into another one of ther Capers,” Honey says knowingly to Charley.

‘Hey,” I protest, “The Judge is a lauded Public Official.”

‘Yeah but knowing you guys?” Charley inquires.

I shrug, “The World may never know.”

“I sure know how I’d bet on that one,” Honey Dew Kno laughs.

I overlook HoneyDew’s observation and go on, “And so a five or six-letter word is selected as the theme of the game.”

“Such as,” Charley enquires.

“A simple word like, Monkey, or maybe a harder one like, Porcine, which was the term we used in that particular game.”

“Porcine?” Charley Kno thinks, “That’s like in a pig, or a hog related entry, right?”

“More like a pig-in-a-poke,” Honey Dew Kno quips.

“That’s sort of the idea of it,’ I grin, “Anytime someone spells the theme-word, they pick up a fifty-point bonus.”

“So if like someone would spell the theme word, porcine, they’d pick up a 50-point bonus,” Charley Kno figures, ‘And if they’d use all seven-letters at once, could get the standard 50-point premium.”

“You guessed it,” I agree.

“But if they a player is able to use a porcine-related word like ham, pig, or pork, they’d still get an automatick double-word score.”

“Great,” I congratulate Honey Dew, “You’re getting it completely.”

Honey Dew Kno rolls her eyes, “I was afraid of that,” she quips.

“But Wait,” Charley Kno is thinking, “What about the Scrabble-Eight-Ball?”

“I was was afraid you weren’t going to Ask,” I reply.

“Not like we were too worried that you shouldn’t Explain,” Honey Dew Kno smiles.

I shrug, “Everybody draws a word form a deck of two and three letter words and shows it to the other players.”

“But he doesn’t get to see it?’ Charley asks, “That’s intense.”

“You’re intense,” Honey advises Charley.

“So do you know the word the WeenerMan drew?” I ask.

“Ummmmm,” Honey Dew thinks, “Three of four letter word that the WeenerMan would draw,” she snaps her fingers, “I know,” she says, “Ape.”

“Chalk the young lady up as a winner!” I announce, “You’re right on the money!”

“See,” Charley tells his HoneyDew, “You’re understanding Scrabble Eight-ball already!”

“I am,” HoneyDew is a bit dismayed, “Rather scarey, if you think about it.”

“Then don’t think,” I urge HoneyDew, “That’s the key.”

“And that’s what scares me,” HoneyDew grimaces, “I’m starting to catch on.”

“So how did the game go?” Charley asks with interest, “I suppose the WeenerMan was way ahead.”

“You are right there,” I agree with Charley, “Since the subject was Porcine, the WeenerMan new all the pig words.”

“Like hoglot, pigsty, pigskin, porker, hamloaf,” HoneyDew figres, “Maybe even peccary, although those just looks like pigs.”

“Glad I never play her for real money,” I nod to Charley, “But with words like that, and by picking up the theme word, porcine, HM WeenerMan was way ahead.”

“If the WeenerMan had such an insurmountable lead, why didn’t you just concede?” Charley Kno asks.

I tap the side of my head, “I knew the Weenermans one weakness.”

“And how did that work?” Charley asks.

By the later part of the game, the WeenerMan started getting antsy and I suspicioned that he had the misfortune for him, but boon for me, had in the by and by drawn the , Q.”

“That’s a hard letter,” Honey Dew Kno nods, “But not so bad if you can pull up a, U.”

I grin now, “Like a dog wagging his tail at a poker game.”

“Dog wagging tale at poker game?” Charley asks, “Sounds interesting.”

“Well the way that works,” I start.

“Stick to Scrabble Eight-Ball,” HoneyDew Kno directs me.

Realizing introducing Charley to said canine might be handy at some point in the future, I get back on subject, “So suspicioning the Weener had such an oddball letter like the Q in hand,  I arranged to leave save a run of spaces leading to a triple word score. As luck would have it, HM played the word ;mania over the spot, and there was my chance, I placed a ‘p’ under the ‘a’ in ‘mania’ and I was set.”

“You mean poor WenerMan,” HoneyDew empathizes.

“Hey, this is the Iron Bumb challenge,” I point out, “Not for the faint of heart.”

“Or the hearty of brain ,” Honety Dew says out loud.

“But wait,” Charley Kno is thinking, “The WeenerMan would need an ‘e’ to spell his scrabble-eight ball, but you said he had a ‘q’.”

“He spelled ‘equit’ ran five-spaces and landed right in the triple word score,” I explain, “The WeenerMan thought he was being smart and greedy.”

“Greedy, greedy, greedy,” Honey Dew Kno agrees.

“But how did you the Weener would spell out ‘equit after all, its sort of a sophisticated word.”

“It’s Hm’s favorite word,” I shrug, “He picked it up from all his confereees with Judge Patrick.

“But wait,” Honey Dew Kno stops us, “I know my Scrabble Dictionary to know that ‘ap’ is not in there.”

“But ‘ap’ does appear on some portable spell-checkers, and let’s say someone just happened to pick one up at a, say garage sale, and donate it to the Broken Hammer for all the Barny Bums to practice on, well,”

“That’s cheating,” Homey Dew points out.

“All the other Barny Bums gotta do ,” I offer, Is go sown to the drugstore or library and pick up a copy of the Scarbble Dictionary and prove me wrong.”

“And no Barny Bumb worth his fried eggs is going to be caught red-handed with a dictionary of any sort, not to mention the Scrabble Dictionary,” Charley goes along, “Say, pretty smooth.’

“Why Thank You,” I reply as I regard my own finger-nails.

“And pretty Worthless,” Honey Dew adds.

“And Pretty Worthless,” I say graciously, “That’s about the highest compliment you can ever pay a dedicated Barny Bumb.”

Charley holds up a hand, “Wish we could stay around and hear how the Barny Bum Challenge came out,” he looks at his watch, “But we really need to be getting back to the store.”

“The evening rush crowd is due in,” Honey Dew explains, “Keep up practicing hard to br the best Barny Bum, if that’s possible.”

As we exit, Charley Kno stops at the sign and flips it over.

The sign which did read, “Kno Trespassing.” Now read, “Kno Not Trespassing; But Please Stay Out Anyways. Signed Charley Kno.”

Charley shrugs, “Who can resist a last pun?”

“Good point,” I agree.

“So long as the pun doesn’t require a great deal of cerebrum,” Honey Dew sighs.

“Hunh?” I ask.

Honey Dew Answers quickly, “Sort of like your murky green pop but, only it tastes better.”

“Ok, thanks,” I say to honey Dew.

“Your Welcome,” she replies, “And don’t go strain your brain.”

“I’ll be very careful,” I reassure her.

“That I am certain that you will,” Honey Dew Kno answers with a giggle.


About offroad2084

Work on the Work In Progress, MyDay in HicksTown. A light-hearted look at life in the fictional town of HicksTown in WeenerMan Township.
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