Out On a Limb

English: Black Bear in the Great Smokey Mountains

Image via Wikipedia Ol' Grouchy. Migratory Resident of Weenerman Twnshp.Occasional Run-ins with the Weener-man...

Sam Basom wrinkles his nose, “Ol’ grouchy must have got up pretty early them,” I mean he had you trapped out there on the end of that elm tree breanch and all.”
“That he did,” the Weenerman admits, “On a skinny little elm branch with a growling Bruin before me, and the Raging too Much River below me. It did occur to me that I might need to be concerned just then.”

Sam Bascom cackles, “I’d say that old Bruin had you right where he wanted you.”

“That he did,” the Weenerman nods, but then points to is temple again, “But I knew two secrets of outdoor survival, elm breaks and sycamore swings..”

“Elm breaks and sycamore swings,,” even Sam Bascom is at a loss for a comeback.

“Yes, I am, most fortunate that I knew of those two survival secrets,” the Weenerman says solemnly.

“That old bruin had you trapped,” Sam tries to calculate.

“Yes, and If I wasted anymore time fooling with that old Bruin,” the Weener-man replies, “I might have missed my favorite TV show, KnuckleWalker: Amazonian Ranger.”

“Um Yeah,” Sam Bascom gets the look on his face that most people do when conversing with one HM Weenerman.

“And so I waited, and then as Ol;’ Grouchy starts suntering out on the branch to get me,” the WeenerMan continues, “I wait unil I hear the elm tree branch starts creaking.”

“And then you applied survival skills?” Sam asks.

“You Bet you sweet pine tar I did,” the Weener-man answers, “Then and there, I started jumping up and down on the elm limb!”

“Jumping up and down on an elm tree limb when confronted by a black bear, sure is some some survival skill,” Sam Bascom bluffs.

“I kept hopping up and down on that elm tree branch,” HM Weenerman says determinedly and ol’ grouchy had to wrap up on it to keep from falling off,” the Weener-Man goes on, “And then, I just kept on jumping up and down  limb until I heard it start to go, creak.”

“That sounds bad,” Sam Basom comments.

“no, it was good,” the Weenerman answers, “When the Elm Branch started to give, I reached up, grabbed a nearby Sycamore Branch and swung accross to the other bank of the Too Much Creek.”

“And so what become of old grouchy,” Sam asks.

“I heard a flailing and then a very large splash,”  the Weenerman explains, “When I look up, all I see is ol’ Grouchy dog-paddling his way down the Too Much as fast as he can.”

Probably more like bear-paddling,” Sam Bascom cackles at his own joke.

“Probably just as fast as he could go because he didn’t want anybody to find out about him being outsmarted by a Weener-man,” I suggest.


About offroad2084

Work on the Work In Progress, MyDay in HicksTown. A light-hearted look at life in the fictional town of HicksTown in WeenerMan Township.
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