A Ride to HicksTown

Ride the Rockies 2007

Ride the Rockies 2007 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Side-Tech steps up to Crystalo and whispers to her.

Crystalo shrugs, “He is right, the Dust on your apparel might foul our delicate electronic equipment.”

But then the Side-Tech smiles and points to the roof of the Van, ‘Of course,” Crystalo smiles, “If you two would ride upon the roof,” she offers.

“But what about that whirling thing,” I point out.

Crystalo smiles generously,”We can always turn off our up-ling, just long enough for the ride to HicksTown.”

“And look, there are handrails for us to hold onto,” Greg macIntyre says, “Shore would beat walking back, by a far-sight.”

“Can’t argue with that,” I say and Greg steps to the ladder.

‘Do you know the way back to HicksTown?” I ask Crystalo in a friendly way.

Crystalo points to where the camera-chick is climbing into the driver’s seat of the van, “She does, my camera person seeme to have real;ly gotten into the spirit of your Clover County.”

As Crystalo speaks, ‘The Camera-Chick slides into the Driver’s Seat, plops down her gear, punches in a Waylon jennings tape, starts the van and yells, “Yeeehawww, What atre y’all waiting For?? Let’as go!!!!!!!”

Greg Macintyre deliberately steps down off of gthe van-ladder and says to me, “The roads between here and Hickstown get pretty rugged, don’t they.”

“And rugged,” I inform Greg.

“Wahal Maam,” Greg says to Crystalo, “Do much appreciate your kindest offer, but really, such a fine morning, thought maybe we’d just walk it back to HicksTown.”

Crtstalo looks confused, “But I thought it was part of the Code of the Barny Bum not to exert whan an Alternative exists.”

“There is a Byu-law of Survival,” I Griomace as the Camera-Chick-Stunt-Driver pounds on the horn and yells, “let’s Go! We neeed to Move It!!!!”

Crystalo Caruso shares my grimace and says in a low voice, “There may be merit in your Code of Barny Bums,” she climbs up into her seat and says solemnly to me, “Hope we shall see you back att he HicksTown.”

“Might want to check in at the Sam Bascom merchantile,” I try to be helpful.

Yee-haw,” the stunt driver-camera-chick hollersw, “let’s ge this news show on the Road!!”

I hear Crystalo repeating to herself as the Van drives off, “Crystalo Caruso always gets her storey, if I am not to lose my breakfast First…”

We watch the Watch Out Van bounce off down the road and disappear around the bend. We hear the hornm honking its way off into the distance.

Greg MacIntyre grunts and picks up his cowboy boots, “Got something to stuff these into?”

I scratch my head and ask, “You seriously dont’ [lan on carrying those things all the way back to HicksTown are you?”

“Wahl, these bootsw aren’t going to exactly march themselves back to HicksTown all by themselves,” Greg retorts.

I shrug, “Why not leave them in the buck Truck and we can pick them up later.”

Greg shakes his head, “Nope, won’t work,” he refuses.

“They’ll be safe,” I tell Greg, “This is back in the middle of no place, there aren’t any scurrilous types around to bother them way back here.”

Greg MacIntyre shakes his head grimly, “With the WeenerMan and  Ernie unaccounted for,”

“True,” I dump a small pile of stuff out of a gym bag in behind the seat, “Here, use this, make the carry back to HicksTown easier.”

Greg raises his brow, “A gym-bag? You been working out any? That could be a violation of the Barny Bum Code.”

I shake my head, “Nahh, nothing that ambitious, am in the ‘Horse,’ basket-shooting tournament, down at the gym, that’s all.”

“Hope you dont’ tryu something stupid like try to win it or something,” Greg warns me, “I’m sure winning a sporting event is a clear vilation of the Code.”

“Dopn’t worry,” I grin, “I’m in the same bracket as, ‘Ace,’ and ‘Net,’ No way can I win.”

“Whew,” Greg wipes his brow , “For a moment, I thought you were going to try and amount to something or another,”

No Way,” I reply with a breif look of horror, “We certainly wouldn’t want that to happen,”


About offroad2084

Work on the Work In Progress, MyDay in HicksTown. A light-hearted look at life in the fictional town of HicksTown in WeenerMan Township.
This entry was posted in Books, Country Humor, Entertainment, rural humor, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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