Only in Eygypt

Minnehaha Grange Hall in Edina, Minnesota.

Minnehaha Grange Hall in Edina, Minnesota. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


Rosco (Photo credit: pennuja)

A Professorial sort of fellow who I taske to be Dr. Halide steps to the microphone. There is a screeching sound as the doctor adjusts the volume.

The Grange Hall lights dim, and a projector shoots a title-slide that announces, “I Dig in Eygypt.”

And Dr Halide begins, “And this is where I dig, Eygypt.” The next slide shows Dr Halide standing beside a green and white sign that reads: Welcome to Eygypt.

One of the fellas leasns forwards to squint at the screen and speaks out, “Hey, I been there, see that bin there in the backround,” the fella points, “Why that’s the Grain Elevater in Eygypped, Indiana!”

Dr Halide taps on the podium to restore order, “The Gentlemen is most correct.”

There is an outburst in the crowded Grange Hall.

“Dr Halide takes the microphone, “I didn’t mean to mislead anybody, but my Archaeology deals with MiddleWestern-America.”

As the audience settles, one guy speaks, “Oh no, the hub-bub wasn’t about you, Dr Halide. It was about Rosco being right about something!!”

Dr Halide wipes his brow, “Oh I thought perhaps that you were upset with Me.”

“No Way!” Rosco speaks, “The Free Grub is just Fine with Us!”

And everyone applauds.

Rosco stands up and takes a bow.

Dr halide wipes his brow in releif, “Well tonight I wish to talk about my recent dig into Mid-Nineteenth Century Settlement in Middle Indiana.”

The first slide shows up. It shows Dr. Halide standing beside his car with a shovel in hand, “This is me about to begin my Archaelogical Survey of Mid-Nineteenth Century Indiana,” Dr halide begins.

‘Nooo,” Rosco protests, “I thought that’s you posing for that painting called, ‘American Archaelogic!'”

The Audience laughs.

“I take it that the shovel isn’t the only pointy-thing in this room>” Dr halide observes.

“Pointy?” Rosco asks, “Like You referring to my Head?”

“If you gotta ask, the Doctor is Probly right,” Rosco’s neighbor informs him.

Rosco considers it, “Yeah, maybe,” He is still trying to catch up.

Next Slide appears, Dr Halide announces, “And that’s my Lab Assistant, Carbibe starting to dig in  our selected archaelogical excavation.”

“Why out in that middle of the feild?” Rosco’s neighbor asks.

“To confirm or deny the local folklore that there was the site of early settlers from wiiittemberg-bavaria,” Dr halide answers.

“Where?” Rosco asks.

“That’s someplace in Germany,” Dr Halide explains.

“Hunh?” Rosco ponders.

“Dr Halide rolls his eyes, “Like on Hogan’s Heroes,”

“Oooohhh, Now I getcha,” Rosco points quickly up to Dr Halide.

The next slide shows carbide digging, “Our first step was to dig a survey trech,” Dr Halide expounds, “In order to detect stretches that may warrent our further examination.”

Rosco’s hand shoots up, “Hey Doc, I think there was an old paleo-something between my pumphouse and the barn.”

A lady in the back speaks up, “No rosco, you’re just too lazy to dig your own trench.”

Rosco shrugs, ‘Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

“Even with Rosco being a Barny Bum,” the lady starts.

“Hey, don’t start with that,” Rosco objects.

“Rosco’s right you know,” his neighbor defends him, “Compared with the real authentic barny bums over in the Township, Rosco’s a Pillar of Ambition.”

Rosco stands up and bows,

“Don’t take yourself too seriously,” his neighbor warns Rosco, “A real barny bum wouldn’t have stood up to take a bow.”

The guy who had identified Eygypt, Indiana scratches his head, “But why did you start digging in the middle of that pasture for? Those Old Dutch that started up there were so stingy, they never threw anything away. You can probably looked in their descendants old barns and found everything you were looking for and saved yourself a hole lot of work.”

“Here, Here,” Rosco seconds.

Everyone looks at Rosco, “Well I use labor only when necessary,” Rosco points out.

He sits down.

Dr Halide goes onto explain, “We ran the trench toget some idea of the little stone hut that was there, where its foundation sat.”

The guy faniliar with Eygypt, Indiana agrees, “They say it was built from rocks instead of logs because they didn’t want to have to saw them.”

“Ah, a use of local resaources,” Dr halide nods.

“Well, really, cutting the logs would have cut into their yodel practice,” the guy shrugs.


About offroad2084

Work on the Work In Progress, MyDay in HicksTown. A light-hearted look at life in the fictional town of HicksTown in WeenerMan Township.
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